I can’t tell you to leave him if you love him, but you can’t force someone to like your family. For this type of relationship to work, there must be a great deal of communication and understanding. Without communication the relationship cannot sustain itself.
The great thing about your partner is that he is straightforward regarding how he feels about your family and he does not hide it. I hope at the end of this article you will be able to make the right choice for yourself and for your family, because choosing between your partner and your family is not always easy to do.
Having to deal with this situation brings a great deal of confusion, stress, and heartbreak. If you want things to work out, you must be strong.
While it’s understandable if your partner doesn’t like your family, they must still compromise for the sake of the relationship or at least pretend around your family. As it’s clear you can’t choose both, you have to choose since they are unable to even pretend.
Since I’m not in your boyfriend’s shoes to fully understand his situation, I won’t take sides and say your boyfriend is wrong. Basically, I’m asking you questions. You must answer them and communicate with him to find a resolution.
Do you continue with such a relationship?
This is a situation where selfishness is acceptable. Putting yourself first and thinking hard is imperative if you wish to continue with this relationship. What about him is so different that you’re afraid you won’t be able to get on with the next person you date if you leave him?
Because if it is just an ordinary guy, you can leave him and find someone else who will love you and your family. However, if this isn’t the first time you have been dating someone who reveals issues with your family, then it’s important to take a closer look at your own family. Separate your relationship from your family as soon as possible.
Is he respectful of them?
Not liking your family is one thing, and disrespecting them is another. You may know that your partner does not like your family, but only he knows, so he respects them and pretends everything is okay around them.
In these cases, you can continue to see him and ensure that he is not around your family that much. However, if he also disrespects them, then you must choose your side. This kind of person will eventually start disrespecting you, if you haven’t already started.
How well do you get along with your partner?
How good is your relationship with him if you can take your family away? You want to know how much he loves you and how much you trust him because if he is willing to marry you and have kids with you, then it could work out, since you can start a family of your own without having to see your biological parents all the time.
Furthermore, he must be able to afford you if you decide to move out of your home. You don’t want to be around a person who isn’t in control of his life, as he will ruin your own.
What does your family think of him?
If you talk to your family, what do they think of him, because it’s a different story if he doesn’t like them since they are mean to him. It takes time for someone to be open about his or her dislike for someone and we don’t dislike people for no reason.
Therefore, it is important for you to understand what role your family played in making him feel this way. You shouldn’t start a family with this guy if your family doesn’t have an issue with him, but he does.
When your family does not cause problems in your relationship, then it is he who is the problem.
How old is this relationship?
Age of the relationship is also an important factor, so if it’s a new romance maybe 1 or 2 years, it should raise concerns. Also, if it was new, why did you feel the need to tell your family or open up about them so quickly?
However, for a relationship that has lasted many years, even though he doesn’t like your family, this man has shown you that he is willing to stay. You should then communicate and come up with some solutions that are beneficial for everyone.
What is the relationship between him and his own family like?
There can be reasons for this, but one is usually his own insecurities, which is why it’s important to find out what his relationship with his family is like. This may explain it all or may even be an issue from his childhood.
Unless he comes from a loving, caring family, it is safe to assume he hates your family for a reason. Although there shouldn’t be any competition between your family and your boyfriend. It’s still up to you to choose despite the fact that they don’t get along.
In your prediction, do you see him liking them in the near future?
Let’s take a look at the coming years. Does he seem to be accepting of the situation and starting to like them? Does the situation seem to be improving or worsening? When you suspect that the situation will only worsen, it would be best to leave as quickly as possible.
Nonetheless, if he is someone who can compromise and who is ready to find a solution, while at the same time understanding that it could risk your family’s well-being, then you should try to work things out with him.
If you get kids, will he allow them to be part of your family?
Your choice between family and your partner will involve a number of factors, one of which is children. In the future, if you have children together, do you think he will allow them to visit their grandparents and be part of your family.
If not, then this poses a serious threat to the relationship. It is possible that you understand the situation, but your children won’t.
Finally, you must make a decision.
Shortly, it is up to you whether you want to fight for this relationship and it is even better if your partner is also willing to do so. You should not be afraid to let him go if you are not sure about your relationship with him. Don’t give up, but think long term and get out, or stay to fight for the best outcome. Wishing you good luck.